December … Xmas

 

Why do I find Xmas so difficult ?

  • it slowly starts in October
  • it builds in November
  • it becomes full on in December
  • x2 week emotional stressful rollercoaster ride
  • seeing my family !
  • not seeing my family !
  • all my Wirral friends & neighbours have family close by
  • quite relentless & overwhelming
  • everywhere looking different including my house
  • constant questions about what I’m doing for Xmas
  • just the word Christmas = brother Chris big triggers & flashbacks
  • previous shockers /mini breakdowns / burnouts / depressive episodes
  • tv adverts
  • tv films
  • tv soaps
  • radio
  • newspapers
  • magazines
  • it’s not a teacher holiday / festive time for me
  • I remember my Dad = our better times together
  • I still miss my mum /  my priority was always to spend xmas day with her
  • I still feel very guilty about not being able to see Chris
  • I still miss my lovely dog Tess
  • speaking to Chris on xmas day
  • garden centres become xmas light full on tinsel bauble colour grottos
  • previous reminders of very lonely or very stressful or meltdown times
  • £ money stress & worry
  • golf club / random golfers talking or asking about Xmas
  • going into the back bedroom to get decorations out
  • supermarkets become more hectic than usual
  • car drivers impatient & intolerant

Key questions …

  • Who do I want to see ?
  • Will it do me good to see them ?
  • Where do I want to see them ?
  • Who is available when ?
  • How can I have a calm Christmas ?
  • When do the schools break up ?
  • When do the schools go back ?
  • How do I avoid being emotionally fragile ?
  • How can I strike a balance to avoid being overwhelmed & then cancelling?
  • How can I avoid being stuck in the painful past ?
  • What needs to change ?
  • What conversations need to be had ?
  • How do I explain how hard I find it all ?
  • How are my friends & family spending their Xmas Day ?
  • When are my family seeing brother Chris ?
  • When is the best time to phone Chris on Christmas Day ?
  • How can I pace myself to avoid burnout ?
  • When is GP Liz working to sort out medication ?
  • Will Dr Singh be able to see my Wobbly World Xmas page before I see him?

What I really want to do is … 

  1. have an overall plan / series of plans that will work best for me
  2. decorate my key rooms step by step
  3. give my christmas spice candles girl gifts
  4. family @ Refreshment Rooms the weekend before or after
  5. speak to Chris on the phone without crying after
  6. Kim @ Thornton Hall calm coffee
  7. Jackie candle gift before
  8. Marj calm coffee @ her house
  9. Phil calm  coffee @ mine
  10. Jackie golf friday after

What will work for me

  • having a big overall plan to explain to my support group
  • neice Claire & brother Martin decide date family @ Refreshment Rooms
  • me booking Refreshment Rooms pub lunch in late November
  • deciding who I want to see
  • get diary dates sorted in advance
  • keeping stress levels under control
  • keeping my £ spending under control
  • GP Liz make sure got bipolar / plus extra sleep medication if required
  • spreading social dates out to avoid overload or getting overwhelmed
  • bring decorations down step by step from back bedroom
  • decorating the house key rooms … less is more
  • key colours = red / green / gold / black / white / silver / turquoise
  • welcome to my front door tubs
  • best Poinsettia plant for hall
  • walk to village xmas lights
  • big tin of Quality Street chocs
  • neighbours ice melt ready for front drive in case of a white christmas !
  • less is more re christmas cards
  • give or deliver my candle gifts
  • mac music Michael Buble
  • my zen calm den
  • local village £ food shopping only
  • collect £1 Co-op savings / stamps build up to £15
  • less decorations / presents / cards / food … just enough
  • have a xmas project table for cards & presents prep

Just shop £ in my village for :

  1. food & drink
  2. best seasonal plants
  3. Xmas gifts

Gina / Holly / Wendy £ @

  •  x2 white hellebores
  • white cyclamen
  • red glitter star
  • x5 Christmas Spice candles
  • My lovely mum red pot rose
  • red cyclamen
  • silver & turquoise front door spruce fir

I need help from :

iM  www.inclusion-matters-wirral.org.uk

Christmas Survival Kit … website pdf. download

Contents / pages

  • Stress free Xmas / Are you stressed checklist?
  • Relaxation exercises
  • £ money worries
  • Problem solving worksheet
  • Solutions
  • Take action
  • Activity planner week 1
  • Activity planner week 2
  • Surviving Family Gatherings
  • Feeling low this Christmas ?
  • Lost someone ?
  • Coping with panic
  • Wordsearch
  • New Year’s resolutions
  • Connections in your community
  • in need of urgent help ?
  • Merry Christmas message

So … how can I avoid :

  • becoming too overwhelmed ?
  • becoming overstimulated ?
  • losing control of £ money ?
  • burning myself out ?
  • cancelling seeing family or friends ?

My 10 steps to a calm christmas

  1. have a plan well in advance
  2. work through inclusion Matters  Christmas Survival guide .pdf
  3. work on & share my website/Mental Health/My Wobbly World/ December Xmas webpage with my support group before
  4. £100 cash blue purse budget / £ cheques gifts
  5. family date @ Refreshment Rooms
  6. less is more re house decorations
  7. space out meeting family/Kim/Phil/Jackie/Marj
  8. do activities I enjoy on the days that I will be on my own
  9. cook for myself / eat nice food / control alcohol
  10. Christmas Day = iphone txt touch with family & speak to Chris/his staff

My significant x5 christmas spice candles for :

  • me
  • Claire
  • Kim Danni & Jo
  • Marj
  • Jackie

Poinsettia = best plant in best place … likes warm well lit position / not direct sun / not cold or drafty so I think my best place will be in the hall.  Care after is to water when compost is dry / drain off excess water / don’t stand in water & don’t over water !  And did you know ? Poinsettias grow naturally in some parts of Mexico & Guatemala.

Xmas presents = best plants / scented candles / £ cheque gifts

Xmas cards = family / best friends / support group / neighbours

Activities for me to enjoy solo :

  • Port Sunlight walks
  • tend my garden tubs
  • watch a good tv p.m. movie
  • tv catchup & on demand choices
  • listen to a BBC sounds podcast
  • read kindle book = Eleanor Oliphant is Competely Fine
  • aim for some mindful time
  • go for a car drive
  • do some peaceful hall putting

My Winter den view garden tub

My Xmas key dates  = 

  • Tuesday 11th = Phil / coffee @ mine
  • Wednesday 12th = Alison / haircut
  • Friday 14th = Jackie / golf ?
  • Monday 17th = GP Liz / medication appointment
  • Thursday 20th = Dr Singh / Xmas  / New Year 2019 plans
  • Friday 21st = Jackie / golf ?
  • Saturday 22nd = rest day
  • Sunday 23rd = family @ mine / Refreshment Rooms lunch
  • Monday 24th = Christmas Eve / rest day
  • Tuesday 25th  = Christmas Day / Marj coffee @ hers / speak to Chris / send family & friends texts
  • Wednesday 26th = Boxing Day / rest & recover day
  • Thursday 27th = Kim
  • Friday 28th = Jackie / golf reconnect
  • Saturday 29th = website / Xmas review
  • Sunday 30th = website / Xmas review
  • Monday 31st = 2018 review of my year

Family Xmas day together = Sunday 23rd / plan :

  • Martin Mark & Claire
  • meet at mine 11.30 ish
  • pub lunch at 12.00
  • back to mine / presents exchange

 

So … how did it all go ?

It went very well !!!  Why ?

  • I had an overall plan & several mini plans
  • I worked on & shared my Xmas webpage with my support group
  • I talked it through with Dr Singh
  • GP Liz reinforced that I was in the driving seat
  • I used the iM Christmas Survival Kit
  • early decision re family @ mine on weekend before Xmas date
  • booking Refreshment Rooms pub lunch late November
  • doing my £ shopping in my village
  • less is more re decorations / presents / cards
  • pacing myself seeing friends & family
  • felt included in how my family were spending their Xmas day & Boxing Day  in their various ways through iphone texts & Whatsapp pics
  • Sky tv HD = Game of Thrones daily episodes

 

My Christmas miracles :

  1. I was sober on Christmas Day and Boxing Day
  2. I spoke to Chris without getting emotional during or after Xmas Day phone call
  3. Bolton Tranmere Liverpool & Everton all won their Boxing Day footie matches !
  4. The christmas jigsaw puzzle came together & was complete
  5. I was calm on the days after leading up to New Year’s Day

My wobbles :

  • bad dreams & flashbacks Xmas Eve / Xmas Day / Boxing Day
  • feeling overwhelmed at times
  • waiting for the family to arrive
  • talk of Chris finances / funeral at pub lunch

My calm christmas  2018  … a smile on my face & love in my heart